5 Terrible Jobs Anyone Can (And No One Should) Do - man washing dishes restaurant

Not everyone can sleep in the position of writing a column on Cracked.
Sometimes you have to do real work in order to live.
The worse the economy, the more you belittle yourself to make sure you still have a house to live in and food to eat.
Still, some of the work seems to fit everyone, but once you actually start doing it, you will realize that they are at the level of the soul --
Breaking the horrors that many have not experienced so far.
5. Knife SalesI wants you to take the time now to write down all the worse things you can think of than selling knives door to door.
Now I will perform an awesome magic trick by copying your list completely! 1. Hitler AIDS2.
Not so amazing?
No, I'm not a psychic. I'm just watching you closely. Very. Closely.
Anyway, the sad truth about things is that every door --to-
The door knife salesman you will meet is someone who refuses to put Santoku carver on his own kidney.
No roll call. Of course I'm talking about Cutco. Oh s**t.
That part is not read.
But for reals, Cutco's satisfaction with the workplace is like the satisfaction with personal hygiene with scuba travel through Bolivia's sewers.
This company has been selling you knives that can go through leather, ropes, coins and coins for years, and you will never do that, cutting anything with your steak knife. Not ever.
You have something to do as a customer of Cutco.
First of all, the quality of the tool is really high.
Second, you are as mysterious as a unicorn, because no one buys a card knife.
As a person selling a card knife, everything about you goes against you.
You should call everyone who has interacted with you for more than five minutes and set a time to come to their home, their sanctuary, with a bundle of shy tips from you, force them to put up with 30 minutes and you separate the strips with a butter knife.
For the love of Christ, who needs to cut the strip with a butter knife?
The desired son already has a knife that can do this.
He doesn't need you there.
No one needs you there!
So basically, your job is to alienate everyone you 've met by convincing them that you're sad and hungry for money.
You can finish this task soon.
You may not think it's a big deal, but also keep in mind that Kaco has you paying for the shyster kit you carry with you, so, before you step into the house of someone who doesn't want you, you have entered the company for $100 or more.
It is entirely possible that when you decide to resign, you will actually be financially negative and will disappoint some friends.
But at least you will have a pair of scissors that can cut the coin into a spiral and if the world is really hit in the head and decide it's an important thing.
Mystery shopper you may have received millions of spam in your life about being a mystery shopper, the most fascinating job on this side of porn cake bakers.
Can you go shopping and get paid? That's amazing!
My idiot just broke the sound barrier, I'm a lady!
The reality of mystery shopping is that it's as charming as a fart in a glass elevator.
In general, most companies will want you to pay some sort of administrative fee to start work, because "administrative fee" is actually a less-known synonym of "I'm going to tear you off", ass face
"Unless you are a crazy person or some kind of rude robber baron, you will never make the money back.
I don't even know what this is.
Your job as a mystery shopper is to go deep into the goal, and if the cashier calls you and refuses to give you change, please let your employer know.
You have to go to a specific store and maybe buy a specific item and pay attention to what is going on.
Are you welcome soon?
Is the wall bleeding?
Is there any vomit in Aisle 6?
You don't give an opinion, you just tell them how your experience is.
This is part of the in-store evaluation process.
Too boring.
Now, it's not a scam in itself, but it's not a job for a real person either.
It's likely that someone is killing people in mystery shopping right now, but people outside are also killing people in selling golden shower videos, so let's not split our hair.
To a large extent, what is going to happen is that you get an offer to drive through town and buy a pack of gum to see if the clerk is wearing pants today.
Your efforts will be paid $5.
Maybe tomorrow you can go to the other side of town and see if Walmart's welcome is really spinning-
Kick old customers in worn old nuts for $10.
If you live in a city big enough and don't have enough people to do it, you might do it and start pulling $10 an hour.
But do you know why?
Washing dishes is a good job balance.
I do the dishes at least in three different restaurants and each one has enriched my hatred for the job a little bit.
Why is washing dishes so terrible?
Well, there are many reasons.
First of all, this is the job you do at home.
Any work you do at home creates a little resentment.
Just like you can't leave it.
You wash the dishes for eight hours, then go home and make a corn dog and wash the corn dog dishes. God damn it.
The most important thing to do the dishes is that on the job totem pole it is treated with the same respect as the doorman, the porn stars in northern Canada and the trash man.
No one cares about the dishwasher.
This is a job your employer expects and if you spend enough time doing it, even the ape can do it.
This is actually part of the problem with the dishwasher itself, and if you 've ever worked in the kitchen, you'll know why ---
Because any idiot can become a dishwasher, any idiot can become a dishwasher.
This means that if you happen to be not an idiot, he really just needs a job and can see value in an honest day of work, no matter what, the other staff just assume you're an idiot and wait for the burner to be hot when you think you can try to put the silverware on your bag or lick the stove to see how it is.
Really, this is one of our most humiliating tasks for a person.
See what you're really doing when you clean someone's dirty dishes: this is all the food, sauces and sludge that this person is wasting ---it's mirror-universe feces.
Later in the day, what you washed off your plate and deuce booked the only part of the meal.
You wipe preshit. Or unshit. Whatever.
2 Technical support on my experience in technical support, from the few calls I have made to them in the past few years, the situation has not improved.
To set up my service, I had to call Netflix support in two different countries.
The technical support of the whole country couldn't help me to look for a movie that came out a year ago.
Technical support employs employees in the most insidious way-
They offer higher than average wages and ask you to be able to exercise in some way.
It's hard to refuse.
When you get there you will see that it is run by boys from Brazil and God forbid you to wear blue jeans and produce urine during working hours, skip the steps you need to ask the caller if their computer is plugged in and turned on.
All of this will allow you to be written down, fired or whip can in the public square, so that other minions of technology can see examples you make with your own cold and destructive behavior.
Technical support is welcome!
Long live overtime without pay!
Technical support seems to be a very necessary job, but it shouldn't.
I mean, your s ** t should work.
Everything ended up crashing and faulty everywhere, but don't tell me that these days these things are not just made in a more lazy way with cheaper parts.
You need more support for two reasons-
The things you buy are rotten, and the people you buy are more stupid.
If you 've ever been in a store, when someone comes in and talks to the sales people about how they need a computer with a lot of millions of pixels to email their facebook and search for their extra RAM, not surprisingly, when their penis is stuck on a USB port or they have managed to fill the hard drive with gasoline and are currently in the Lower East Side, there may have been a few people who had to call tech support because they never saw this coming.
But it is wrong to do so.
It just means that stores should bite their teeth and don't let idiots leave with technology until they show a proper understanding of the product.
If you have a chance, wake up one day before noon and go to the grocery store.
You may even have to do this around 8 in the morning. m.
This requires a lot, but you should never reject an opportunity to experience something new and relatively painless.
When you walk into the store after the store has just opened, you will be surprised to find that everything is so beautiful.
Unless you live in a neighborhood where no one does these things.
But most places have stock clerks working at that store all night, making it look like a brand new store every day.
For eight hours in the evening, there was a group of unlucky breasts in the store. they put new stocks on the shelves and turned all the old stocks in line, in this way, all the shelves are fully stocked and look brand new,Every day.
It is worth noting that nowadays people think that babies are very fascinated by peeps. a-
Shhh because they don't understand that you are still there when they can't see you.
So a game of peekinga-
Boo is like a baby's mind fucking a cross-dimensional thrill trip.
You exist, you don't exist, you are like something.
For adults and canned beans, the pleasure of this discovery should not be.
You don't need to see new ones every morning, simply arrange canned beans and still need canned beans.
Why is this done only to the four lonely old people who went to the store at 8 in the morning. m. ?
When the average person goes shopping, the store looks like s ** t again, someone is tidying up the shelves all night and looks like it has never been touched, which is totally irrelevant.